31 January 2012

I'm really friggin' weird.


It's February Eve, I think that means it's time for a celebration!

Sure we don't get a day off, and there is no over-commercializing for this occasion, you can't buy cards, eat cake or receive gifts dedicated for this very awesome day..I don't think that means I can't celebrate!

On this Eve I think I will begin a new tradition - Month Eve Spirit of Kindness Day - and today is the very first official. I'm going to do something kind for someone else, more than I would on any other day - and then I am going to make a personal kindness goal and find something kind I can do for myself in the month of February. Stay tuned.

I urge you to participate too - and then write a comment below and let me know how you commemorated this very first Eve and what you plan on doing for someone else - AND for yourself!

Now go eat some damn cake.

30 January 2012


Had a super great weekend. Wanted to blog about it along the way, but didn't seem to sit down for 2 whole days.

Friday night I had to ref a game of Dodgeball - the teams were pretty competitive and I had to yell a lot...SO therapeutic! Then, we played. We won - I really don't remember the score. My kids were with their dad this weekend but my daughter wanted to come home for the night so we picked her up and watched some PVR'd Law & Orders that we have been saving for just this occasion.

We had a slow start Saturday morning, my cat Henry was looking for some attention - love that cat.

We decided we would get in a little geocaching - it was pretty rainy and gross outside - which is a perfect time to geocache - gets you outside, and you seriously ignore the weather and feel like a kid. It was SUPER WINDY - like, the cold wind that bites your face and makes your eyes water..we found a few caches before we dropped her off. Then we headed out to the country for a few more. There are certain 'multi-caches' where the starting co-ordinates take you to a 'clue' - usually some sort of math equation or logic puzzle - that help you determine the co-ordinates to where the cache actually lives..I've done one before, this was my husbands first. I am amazed at the amount of 'hidden' or 'lost' old cemeteries there are in our area - I appreciate geocaching for the places it has taken me to and the history I have learned about my very own town that I would have NEVER seen or learned about in any other way.

My husband is a garage door technician - he's the King Of Doors...or something crazy like that. Anyway, he had a job called in and we had to cut our caching short. Perfect time for me to get my nails done..and a quick trip to Homesense.

I LOVE Homesense - its a good time wasting store. I also have an addiction to good, giant mugs for my tea. I didn't find any for myself but I did buy a pretty awesome mug for my younger sister who is turning 30 in February - and nothing says you're old like a mug for your birthday. Meanwhile, as I was waiting in line at the cash I saw this curious little fella - i'm almost certain he's the Party Pooper in his group of peers.

Who invents this stuff?

Saturday night turned into an all in, drag out, to the death tournament of euchre - just Mike & I. We're both very competitive - but I am ALWAYS the winner. Take that Mike!

We set the satellite radio station to all 90's music - was nostalgic and so fun!

That turns out to be all I remember about Saturday night - I'm not a big drinker, but apparently I was that night. - I'm pretty sure I was still in bed asleep by 10:30.

We woke up early Sunday morning and dedicated the day to geocaching. I had introduced my inlaws (who are in their late 50's) about a month ago - and they are OBSESSED. The geocaching website tracks the number of finds you have and right now they have more than I do - - I just cannot have that. The morning was sunny and beautiful - truly felt like a spring day! About noon it started to snow - we hadn't really noticed, we were pretty bundled up. By 4 o'clock it was a full out blizzrd and we were in the middle of a forest - SO peaceful and beautiful. At that point we thought we'd call it a day. 18 caches found - thats the most I have ever found in one day. 

 This is how my front lawn looked when we finally got home:

We spent the balance of the evening shovelling the driveways for every family member we know - because I am not one to turn down a good shovelling workout!

Good, good weekend :)

27 January 2012

Marshmallows for breakfast

Yesterday I woke up and knew immediately I was not going to be very productive, I felt like garbage and that was that.

I called in sick, got the kids to school and came back home.

I sat on my comfy red couch, then I moved to the brown leather chair - walked around the dining room, ever since we bought this house last August I've wanted to redecorate this room but I can't come up with a plan. Today was no exception.

No plan.

After wandering aimlessly I ended up in the kitchen..but of course. Am I hungry? Not really, but I'm looting through the cupboards anyways. Meh, nothing interesting. Down to the rec room - I'm not into watching TV unless my husband wrangles me and forces me to stop moving for an hour - and since he's at work I'm not going to put myself through the torment of daytime TV, not PVR'd, with commercials (gasp!).


I could read my book - I do have to read 25 this year..but that would undoubtedly send me back to sleepy dreamland and I don't feel like sleeping the day away either.

I started to blog, but wasn't feeling particularily interesting...delete, delete.

Back to the kitchen. Rummaging for something intriguing.

And so there I was...eating marshmallows for breakfast.

A couple of hours later my husband surprised me by coming home early and dragging me out of my cranky cave - we spent the next 3 hours geocaching...I was wet, snowy, cold and muddy - my lungs were filled with cool refreshing air and I felt revitalized.

I love Me days.

25 January 2012

Geocaching = exploration!!

My very favourite thing about geocaching is the amount of time it allows you to spend paying attention to things that you never seem to have time to stop and pay attention to - family relationships, exercise, NATURE - we recently found a cache along the Bruce Trail, close to where I spotted this tree :)


23 January 2012

Monday is a big fat jerk face.

Monday again. I suppose you could look at it in different ways. You could begrudge, or see as a new beginning.
Half full, half empty.

Something happened to me today - not really notable in the grand scheme, but it made me feel..hurt? I question that because maybe I feel exposed, or vulnerable. They're all so connected, and yuck-tastic. Anyways, I'm trying to really look at the situation - and its interesting to get through the tangle and try and figure out why? and what is expected to come of this?

Two equally important questions to ask in any situation, that may save from causing someone to feel this way - and isn't that the point?

Ask them.

something's fishy..

20 January 2012

Take A Penguin to Lunch

What, you didn't know?!?

January 20th is Penguin Awareness Day!

We're supposed to think about penguins, read about penguins, watch movies about penguins, check out the vital statistics on penguins, change our desk top pictures to that of penguins and wear black and white in honour of penguins.

Don't stop there - take a penguin to lunch!

Best. Office. Gossip...EVER!

I work at a newspaper..so we're pretty newsy around here.
I'm in the accounting department - though I am destined for greatness, and should probably be doing something a little more creative and a lot less boring. But it is a nice little job, with a nice little slap in the face pay cheque.

If you were here you would look around at this department and see a group of mostly older, frowning, grumpy women who have been here their entire lives - and then there is a small group of us 'younger' women who the older women dislike because obviously we are here to steal their chairs.

ALL WOMEN. Roughly 40 of us.

We DID have a man once - but he transferred to another department. I probably would too. As soon as he left we changed the men's washroom into a women's.

So, as you can imagine emotions rule the roost - and office gossip is a huge part of everyday. We're catty and cliques are formed and reformed .. just like high school.

Yesterday was a regular old day - calculators clicking everywhere, phones ringing, chatting, chatting - 3 different radio stations can be heard at all times - some people are cold and wrapped in blankets some people are having hot flashes feeling warm and removing layers. A LOT of complaining about every single thing. One of my 'young' friends suddenly let's out a 'holy shit!' .. but doesn't say anything more. Then I get '1 new email message', it reads:

"So the girl that was charged in that murder? Singer of my band….say nothing….OH MY GOD!"

It seems our newspaper had just reported on our website that an arrest had been made in a high profile murder case in our city.

I said nothing to anyone, I looked over at her with a crazy shocked face. Then her and I were quietly discussing it - one person overheard and that bad boy girl of a story went through the office like a wildfire.
She's not in today - she's going to the jail to see her 'friend' and get some info.

Most definitely my most favourite office gossip EVER.

Be a leader...and a follower!

I'm new to this...clearly.

How do I get more followers and build a cult friendships?

19 January 2012


I have been waiting 2 very long, very, very, very long off season months - but the day finally arrived yesterday - the beginning of Dodgeball - Season 22!

Yes, dodgeball ... EXTREME dodgeball. 

I remember being a kid and dreading DREADING playing dodgeball in gym class - I wasn't very good, felt like an overt failure when I'd get hit - embarrassed when I had to throw a ball and it would go completely in the alternate direction than I intended..hitting no one.  I thought everyone was watching and laughing. Probably in truth no one was paying attention to what I was doing - but my self esteem was super low and I was never good at anything we did in gym class, ever, period.

One day I received a facebook message from my husbands cousin - her new boyfriend played in a co-ed league and thought it would be fun to put a team in - so we did! I signed up my husband and I not knowing what to expect AT ALL. That was season 10 I think. Our team was made up of a bunch of my husbands cousins - and we called ourselves The Incrediballs! 

I quickly learned the rules of the game - and became a referee .. so, so rewarding! I joined the newly formed womens league, and my kids have played in the kids league. I'm pretty sure that 1/4 of the teams (we have about 75 total - thats 750 people!) have been made up by our recruits!

The game is simple and fast. Each team consists of up to 10 players, 2 MUST be girls. 5 players from each team start the game, the remaining players are held in 'jail' - three red balls lined up in the middle. The ref yells 'GO' and all players run to the centre line to grab a ball. Run back past the neutral line to check the ball. You have to the ref's count to 10 to get your ball over the centre line - if you reach zero, you're out. Get hit by a ball - you're out - hit someone with a ball, they're out - you get a player back in (max. 5). SO SWEATY!

Fun, Fast, Fair.

After 3 years and playing 3 nights a week I am even more in love with the game than ever before, I've taken several balls to the face, and broken some fingers more than I'd like to admit (and continued playing).

And yes, we won last night 9-2!

Check out our website here.

17 January 2012

Brace Face, Empty Pockets.

My right hand is cramping - why you ask? Because I spent an entire hour this morning writing 20 post dated cheques and signing 20 permission forms in 3 different places. Ah yes, the day she has been waiting for - BRACES.

My 14 year old daughter has an overbite. From the very moment the dentist mentioned braces she has been anticipating the adhesion of these metal hinges glued onto her teeth. Really excited even.

I on the other hand have been dreading the financial aspect.I will end up paying a total of $4300. Which was actually the lowest of the quotes I got.

I don't really mind of course, because it's all part of the job - I do however think I should have gone into the dental field.

So cheers to braces - and empty pockets!

16 January 2012


Hey You!

Have you heard of Geocaching?

A friend of mine first mentioned it to me at the beginning of December. It's one of the funnest (again, is funnest a word?) things I have ever done! Mystifying even!

It's great for ALL ages - all physical types - and even stupid people. A GREAT outdoor family activity

Check it out HERE! And TRY it - you won't be disappointed...if you have questions, which you absolutely will - ask me! Get the app HERE!

Fierce like a Lioness

Oh hi!

It's Blue Monday - it's the most depressing day of the year according to psychologist Cliff Arnell. He made his calculations back in 2005 using an elaborate math formula. Arnall reasoned that Blue Monday is the day when a slew of unpleasant variables such as drab weather, failing New Year's resolutions and Christmas bills collide, creating a veritable maelstrom of negativity.

Sort of fitting that I have a 1st scheduled appointment with a counsellor tonight. Ho hum.

I'm not usually one who has a problem talking about my feelings - to anyone that will listen actually. I like to get other people's opinions and sort of gauge whether my reactions fit with 'the norm'. This time I'm not so sure.

Here's my story (i'll try to keep it short):

My ex-husband is remarried. Lovely. Since he has been married his wife (who I knew as my younger sister's friend in highschool) has done all she can to sabotage life as anyone knows it. She doesn't seem to understand that we had decided we were not good married people - but we can still cooperate and be good parents to our 3 children. There have been a plethora of negative storms:

 She has sent my 'new' husband a registered letter outlining all of the reasons she thinks I am crazy and he should leave me.

She has told my daughter (14) horrific things about me and made her promise not to tell anyone. Including: "I'm sure your mother is a nice person, but she needs some serious mental help and until she gets it she will never love herself or you".

There are so many things..and after writing only those two I've decided I've made my point and I'm not throwing any more out there...for now.

A month and a half ago while my children were at their home for the weekend My ex and his wife had a screaming fight which resulted in her physically assaulting him in front of my children. Leaving them scared and emotionally hurt.

I called family & children's services the very next day. They spoke with each of my kids separately and determined that they should not be going to that house if she is present as it is not emotionally comfortable or safe for my kids.

This was fine - my ex had decided this was the last straw and they were going to divorce once and for all. (this isn't the first time she has physically assaulted him - in fact the police were involved and she was arrested back in August).

Last Monday they announced they would be getting back together - they'd made a marriage counselling appointment and all was well again.

My children are angry and hurt and confused about this decision - afterall, they have been hearing from their father for over a month how happy he was to be getting his life back on track, he would stop drinking and smoking - start being a better dad and told them several negative things about his wife.

I spoke with him about my concern about them going for their bi-weekly weekend visit and after a few heated discussions we agreed that until the kids had been able to process the situation and felt comfortable (if ever) they would not have to be in a situation where they would have to see her or feel uncomfortable because she is around.

This past weekend they were to go to his house. Instead of going on Friday night as usual they would wait until Saturday afternoon - the time she would leave the house until Sunday night, when she would return just before dinner. He would leave the house and take them out for dinner just before she got there.

I found out this morning that it didn't happen that way. She came home in the afternoon and my kids were told they weren't going out because his back was sore.

I am livid. So many people have different opinions on how to handle this situation.

SO - to a counsellor I go.


13 January 2012

The Funnest (is funnest a word?) pre-workout ever!

Hey! Hello!

Last night was unseasonably mild, calm, dry and snow free - I know that snow and unsavoury weather is imminent. It IS the middle of January in Canada. 

I'm a runner, well, I run. I've mentioned it to you before - I don't really consider myself a 'Runner'. Maybe I don't think I'm very good at it. In 2011 I set a goal to run a total of 1000 km's (621 miles) and I surpassed it - 1022 km's total. This year I've increased the goal to 1500. So far I'm in 49 km's..pretty good for January.

Since last night was super weather I thought I would get another run in - but this time I decided to shake it up a bit with a pre-run warm up fit for a middle school gym class - SO FUN.

When was the last time YOU jumped rope? If you're like me it's been a lifetime. I threw my headphones on and went out to my small patio in the backyard - and skipped like it was the summer of 1989 (I was 10). I quickly discovered muscle groups that seem to have been out to recess for the last 20 years - what a workout for the body & the mind!

The fountain of youth lies in the things that youth do - DO those things! 

All in all it was a great pre-run warm up and something I will definitely do again - especially when I am feeling old.

Friday! (the 13th)

It's Friday the 13th - I didn't even realize it until my 14 year told me everything was going wrong.
It snowed this morning - the roads are crap, people are grumpy and I'm tired.

But it's FRIDAY - how can THAT be bad luck? it's not in my books...

The truth is, thoughts are energy..and whatever energy you throw out there is the energy that's comin' back around. So make your energy output ridiculously awesome!

11 January 2012

don't trip me.

I have been coping with several uber dramatic situations over the last couple of days - in fact, several times I have started to write about it here, and then decided not to, it wasn't gonna help and you and I haven't known eachother long enough to go into that sort of craziness.

It's funny because when I was a kid I would do ANYTHING to get out of gym class..just thinking about running laps around the gymnasium gave me a panic attack..I grew up lazy and uncoordinated and my parents weren't into sports of any kind..silly parents.

Fast forward to 2006 when I decided that I needed to change my life and be the creator of my own smiling face. I quit smoking after a 12 year pack and a half a day habit. Shortly thereafter I began walking - weird at first because the mechanics weren't something I was used to...and then one day I just started to RUN.

I have never looked back.

If for nothing else running is the time I figure out my shit. Feet to the pavement, feeling light and small in such a huge open world - gives clarity and perspective in a way that nothing else can.

3 cheers for running!!

why so glum, chum?

9 January 2012


I notice things.
My children.

How my heart explodes when our girls, sisters, talk about how much they love each other.
Our boys, best friends, worst enemies.
How they remain humble about their achievements, 
For the sake of each other, because they are all equal in their triumph. 
It’s always someone’s turn.

I laugh.
They create the silliest games. Zak always wins. (he makes the rules last minute)
The boys will say something disgusting to gross out the girls. They return with something even more disgusting.
They read joke books to each other, all in a group. 
Joke books are not funny. But there is an eruption of crazy laughter.

I try not to laugh.
When Liam break dances. Or says something so hilarious when he is in the biggest trouble.
When Sydney writes and then sings a song with such heart break over a boy.
With such passion. 
When April asks questions. About everything. 
When Zak uses his “deep voice”.
“Hey guys, what’s up?”

They stand up for themselves. And each other. 
So stubborn. I am not sure where that came from.
They would rather be together. Doing anything. Doing nothing.
They argue. Sometimes A LOT. 
They tattle tale. All the time. 
“So and so said I smell!”. (mostly Liam). “Do you smell, Liam?”. “YES!”. “Then why are you upset about it, Liam?”
He runs away. Crazy grin. Squeaking noise.

They are helpful, and selfless.
They teach things, so that they all know.
Except for “secrets” they are sharing.
Which I am certain aren’t anything at all.
But they are keeping it from one of the others. 
And they use it like torture.

I smile.
When they complete something they doubted they could do.
Or when they don’t succeed. But try again.

It is hugs and kisses.

They are my answer to everything.

monday. so awesome.

I woke up to myself across the room at my alarm clock frantically fumbling in the dark trying to find the snooze button - screaming - why is it doing this, what is this noise? HA!

Its Monday.

It's funny, my alarm goes off every morning at the same time - and every morning we press the snooze button - 2 times. The first thing I cross of my list to save time is my hair .. a pony tale will do. Snooze 1 - justified. 7 minutes later - make-up is not really necessary - I work in an office of 40 women..who am I there to impress? Snooze 2 - justified.

Hey - at least I'm wearing high heels..even if they're paired with black sports socks.

6 January 2012

Pass the cake..

Today is my first born's 14th birthday. 14. 14!

I lost my virginity at 14.

When I was 11 or 12 I was watching some show on TV...'they' were saying that the way to gauge if you'll be a good parent or not is tested by how successful you are at keeping a house plant alive. Apparently if you can keep a plant alive, you're very nurturing and such.

Even my artificial plant looks dead.

I related this factual information to her last night - and we both agreed she's pretty lucky to be alive after all this time.

Happy Birthday my sweet love!

5 January 2012

here's your tea..and a knife

Add caption

They sometimes say I looked like Chucky when I was a kid..

This morning I had time to stop for my ritualistic morning tea on my way to work - I chose McDonalds for my delicious large orange pekoe double-double. I paid my $1.25 and drove to the second window to pick up my magical liquid - the girl passes it through the window and says - here's your tea - and a knife - I didn't stir it you'll have to do it yourself.
I guess she thinks I still look like Chucky.

p.s. no sugar. ugh. stupid people.

Say my name, b*tch.

I guess it's time. 

Hello, my name is Sarah.

I am a 32.8 year old, twice married (second times the charm), mother of 4(S 14, Z 13, A 11, L10). I work fulltime in the accounting department at a pretty large newspaper.

Wait - is THAT who I am?

I play competitive co-ed dodgeball - I'm also on the board of directors, I ref quite a bit as well - I'm pretty good too, which is surprising because I was never any good at sports at all. And trust me - dodgeball is a sport.

I run -  A LOT. But I'm not sure if I would classify myself as a 'runner' - those people are weird. In 2011 I resolved to run a total of 1000 km's - and I ended the year with 1022...success. I'm still overweight by 20 lbs though...soooo....

I LOVE to sing - others don't always love to hear it (jealousy I'm sure)...I think I should be in a musical on Broadway. I've been practising my autograph since I was 6 years old.

The truth is, and I'm not looking for sympathy or disagreement here - people hate me. Why you say? Who cares. They're dumb. Well, maybe they're not all dumb. It's been happening my entire life - I've never quite 'fit in' anywhere. I go out of my way to do things to make people happy - I can also go out of my way to make people feel small...if they've made me feel small. I am a perfectionist, an un-proven overachiever.. and just as much effort I put in to try to make you love me, I can equally put in to make sure you hate me, and maybe even hate yourself...I guess its comfortable for me to feel hated - or I'm just a terrible selfish b*tch. Perhaps a mix of the two. You'll read future posts that prove my feelings of being hated...there's a lot of funny stories. After all, at the end of the day - laughter is the cure.

I'm pretty funny - it might be at my own expense - and most times yours..hey, if we can't laugh at ourselves...

Growing up I always wanted to be a french teacher - looking at it now after realizing that other peoples kids make me crazy and I don't have a lot of patience - I probably just liked writing on chalk boards - and so there is one in my kitchen. They say that dreams do come true - you just may not realize you had them until they happen..or something cheesy like that..

That's all you're getting of me for now..it's lunch time.

baby, it's cold outside - sit on a ball.

(Yes, I live in Canada and I am about to complain about the cold weather.)

Ugh. I'm cold. It's been feeling like -15 c this whole week, thats 5 f to my American friends - I googled the conversion 'cause I've never understood that..this definitely isn't the worst it gets up in here - but its the worst it's been this season.

Anyways, its been too many days of waking up and having to get out of my so-very-warm feather duvet only to get immediately wrapped up in jogging pants and sweaters and slippers...starting my car early in hopes that the heat will start working before I have to leave my house for work (it hasn't been)..I actually put hot rollers in my hair this morning JUST so I could not feel so cold. GREAT hair today - but my toes are like icicles as I sit here at my desk in the accounting department of my local newspaper. It is ALWAYS cold here. Even in the summer you can find us all with sweaters - and occasionally someone will pull out a blanket. That someone sometimes is me.

My husband works outside - so I do feel guilty about my whining. But I'm cold - so its still relevant. 

I sit on a yoga ball chair at work - its pretty awesome...but not helpful when I'm freezing - it doesn't hold any heat. I just realized that if I bounce I'll probably be able to warm myself up a bit - soo I'm doing that now. I got this chair (paid $100 of my own $) about 6 months ago..I was starting to have lower back pain - I attributed it to having to sit in a stiff old unforgiving office chair 8 hours a day and took matters in my own hands - voila! Yoga ball chair. People walk by my half-walled cubicle and ask me about it constantly. So many people try it out that I think I should sell tickets..and maybe give them privacy as they bounce like crazy people. The health & safety committee made me sign a waiver..which I found interesting...I haven't had any lower back pain since the very day I brought in this chair - which it seems they would rather I have lived with. Whatever, they're dumb. Here's my chair, you should get one too!:

I should do some work - it is month end afterall. How did I end up in accounting?

3 January 2012

3 days in and already feelin' like a failure..

2012 is here at last..you know that of course.
Did you make a resolution or two?
Up until 5 years ago when I met my second husband I had always resolved to not make a resolution - they're ALWAYS broken anyway - right? 

I'd always preferred to avoid that feeling of certain failure.
But here I am - a 'resolv-er'.

My in-laws joined Mike and our 4 kids, my 14 year old nephew, my younger sister and her fiance in a grand New Years Eve celebration at our house..same a last year and the year before. We started a tradition of writing our resolutions on a piece of paper and putting them away in a small blue paper covered box to be hidden and read before the ball drops the following year. 

So here is my list:

1. to read 25 books - I LOVE to read and I am sure I can do this
2. to help my husband deal with being less funny than I am - we plan to have a family 'Funny-Off' in the future
3. to run a total of 1500 kms - last year I set a goal of 1000 kms and finished at 1022
4. to start a blog - here we are!
5. to smile more 

We're 3 days in and I'm already feelin' like a failure. I've been carrying my book around in hopes that I would have a chance to read a page or two - only to forget it on my desk at work, then finding I had time last night. Mike and I aren't really speaking right now - we'll probably get to that some other time - so neither of us is being very funny (well, I am - but I'm the only one listening). I haven't done up my laces since NYE when I did a 5k resolution walk..so far 0 km in 2012. the last 2 contributed to my failure - until now - welcome to my very brand new blog. I encounter a lot of ridiculous people, and outrageous circumstances - enjoy!