30 May 2012


Why, because I am the mother (and clearly best cook) do I need to decide what we're eating every single night?

One of my greatest pet peeves is this daily conversation:

short person "Mom, what are we having for dinner?"
Me "Well, what would you like?"
SP "I don't know"

UGH. I can see how they would think that I have absolutely nothing else to do in the day but to plan their meals.

I will cook ANYTHING - just tell me WHAT?!?

29 May 2012

Just some things..

Here are some things:

1. There was a real life zombie attack yesterday in Miami? Weird. I'm not sure how I would react if someone just came up to me and started eating my face. It would most definitely be at the top of my list of dislikes.

2. Speaking of dislikes - where does the vinegar go once you've poured it on your food? The taste disappears almost immediately, but the smell does not. I tried to research this phenomenon and all I seemed to learn is that vinegar doesn't ever expire. I had it on my fries at lunch today and all it did was make them soggy. Disappointing vinegar, disappointing.

3. I have a scheduled ultrasound on my boobs tomorrow which I am a little nervous about. If they find a baby in there we're gonna have a problem, however, at least they will grow?

4. My husband called me a weasel today. He was joking of course - I think. Anyway, I researched weasels, and even if he wasn't joking there is no way I am one.

Weasels (play /ˈwzəl/) are mammals forming the genus Mustela of the Mustelidae family. They are small, active predators, long and slender with short legs. 

I DO NOT have short legs - argument over. However, I would be one if they made me their queen.

That is all for now.

24 May 2012

It's seems we're facing an influx

Happy Birthday Vicki!

This past past weekend was Victoria Day in my fine country. Happy Birthday queenie.
Mostly it's a great day because it is a federal holiday - on a Monday. SO good.
Perfect, perfect, PERFECT weather!
The kids were all with their 'others' this weekend.
My younger sister and her fiancée drove 5 hours to spend 3 glorious days suffering from a serious case of Porch-itis with us. Here is how it went:

0. wake up
1. kill my sister at lawn darts
2. sit on porch and drink
3. destroy my sister at lawn darts
4. drink on porch
5. show my sister how super awesome I am at lawn darts
6. drink, porch
7. have a mass unexpected group nap on porch
8. drink, drink, drink
9. repeat steps 1-8 until bedtime

On Sunday night at dusk one of the men on our street organized a fireworks display - it was great to hang out with all of the neighbours (who don't talk to me, apparently I'm not approachable - I think maybe my awesomeness is a little too shiny for some).

Totally necessary retreat from reality.

please notice the brand new stairs my super awesome husband built

I took Tuesday off as well so that I could pick my son up from his 2 week lonnnnnng trip with my parents to Europe. I also dropped off my oldest daughter at school wayyy too early in the morning so she could catch the coach bus taking her grade 8 class to Camp Kilcoo for the next 3 days...it's like a revolving door of children. 

That's all I have for now. 

15 May 2012

Vibram five fingers

I bought a pair of Vibram Five Fingers in March. Since that time I have run roughly 400 km's in them. They look weird as hell, and it is inevitable that when wearing them SOMEONE will stop and ask you questions about them.

Are they comfortable? Yes - like a glove for your feet. I put them on in the morning and I'm sad to take them off at night.

Where do you get those? Since I'm in Canada they aren't available in a lot of stores, but there's a store locator on their website.

Do they offer enough support? Absolutely - they force your body to to have a forefront strike, which is what your body is naturally supposed to do. Blah, blah, blah - I say a lot about this. You can find more info here.

Mostly, when wearing my VFF's I feel like a travelling salesperson - they should definitely pay me, several people have run out and bought them because of my pitch.

I really friggin' love them.

5 random things.

Happy Tuesday!

Here are some things:

1. I hurt my back playing my final regular season dodgeball game last night. I'm pretty pissed about it. But I WAS pretty awesome, so fair trade.

2. My youngest son is on a cruise (Italy, Turkey, Greece, Spain, France) with my parents - who, when I was 5 or 6 promised if I put all of my allowance money into 'the can' we would save up and one day go to Disney World. I'm still waiting bitches.

3. For mother's day my husband said he would build me a new wooden arbour for my garden entrance since the metal one we currently have is bending from the weight of the giant rose bush that climbs around it (NOBODY appreciates an out of control bush). Anyway - we made our way to Home Depot and bought wood - NOT for the arbour, but for the front steps he decided suddenly to rebuild. ._. 

4. I'm not sure if you know this, but I have a lunatic on my hands. On Thursday night I guess there was another physical 'incident' - my exes wife attacked him in another drunken rage - biting chunks of skin out of him like an animal. He called the police and she was arrested & taken to jail. He had to work all day Saturday and asked if my daughter could babysit her 2 1/2 year old brother - I said it would be fine, but not at their house since she was out on bail and would definitely come to take the baby. So to my house he came! He's a cute little guy. Anyway, not 20 minutes in and she was at my door screaming for her son. The police came and sent her packing - and left her baby with me. Now THAT is karma bitch.

5. I went to a wedding on Friday night - they read their vows from their cell phones - and before they were pronounced man & wife the minister said 'it's not official until it's on Facebook' and instructed them to pull their phones out yet again to update their relationship status'. Weird.

That's all you get for now.

3 May 2012

the b!tch is back.

I've lost total count on how many times I've started a post only to stop dead in my tracks and delete it. It still might happen to this post, I guess we shall have to see.

It's Thursday. I woke up this morning and my first thought was that it was Friday - total fail. But is it? The feelings on a Friday morning are ones of happiness and adoration - and the feeling that no matter what happens during the course of your work day, you can totally get through it, it is only one day until Saturday afterall! So - for a brief half second I felt that way this morning - and since it is truly only Thursday I will feel it again tomorrow morning - that's like a two for one bonus - and sort of like a long weekend! - well, maybe not quite so awesome but you get the point, yes? I'm a bitch that looks on the bright side.

Did I ever tell you about the crazy lunatic my ex-husband is married to? Yeah, well, she strikes again! *Apparently* they're getting a divorce - and without spending too much time on the details that really don't fucking matter to me at all I will say this: they are 'maritally separated' but still living in the same house (until it sells they say) because at this point with a collective 6 kids and only one non-governmental handout income neither can afford to live alone. My kids have not been allowed to visit their dad at that house because she continues to say it is not in their best interests to go there - with no explanation - other than the obvious one that she's a friggin' lunatic. This past Monday she proceeded to hack into his Facebook account and post a pretty nasty delicious rant on my wall about how I am the reason they are getting divorced and how terrible of a mother I am to my children. Of course she didn't make mention of how clearly she has fallen off of the diving board into a giant pool of lunacy. I have been trained in first aid - but nothin' can save this bitch.

Have I mentioned that I am pretty certain she has found this blog and it quite possibly reading this post right now? Weird how over the past few days my 'pages viewed' has gone up a crazy amount. So - Hi you crazy bitch, I'm glad you can see this. Now go and get some damn help.

That's all for now.